did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Those nachos came to me in a dream
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
