so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
only you would photoshop your dick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
