Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
be right there i have to get my cape
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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