Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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