i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
