Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize