I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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