I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
