just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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