Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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