Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
