The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
