Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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