no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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