I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
