i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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