Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Holy sore nipples Batman
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
