I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
