I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
