let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I forgot how hot balto sounded
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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