I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
