I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
