she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
