I looked at my own cervix.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
