I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
