I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
