just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize