? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I would ride that face into the sunset
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
