How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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