I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
