dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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