i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
