So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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