Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
