at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
sarcasm needs its own font
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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