I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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