I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize