There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
