dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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