on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
