I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
