Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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