so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
