peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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