He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
