I wish i was in the wii world.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
