Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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