I want to stick my p in your. b.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My underwear smells like fireworks.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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