I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
