Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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