ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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