It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
