i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
