Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
