lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
