Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize