i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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