someone get that fucking seahorse.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
