PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
