Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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