I think my vagina is haunted
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
